Change....
It is said that if you are not changing you have stopped
living. Life is an evolution from which
we begin at birth and end at death.
Everything in between is change on a continuum. The world continues to evolve whether we
choose to or not. I cringe every time I
hear “I’m too old to learn that, the old way worked just fine; why do things have
to change.”
Often our most difficult moments in life involve times where
we stay stuck repeating behaviors that haven’t worked favorably yet we still continue
to avoid change--change being that which actually represents fear of the
unknown. As we enter a new year, I
thought there is no better time than now to write about change. Many of us welcome the new year as a way to
put the things about 2012 that didn’t go quite as well as we had hoped for
behind us and clean the slate for better opportunities. It’s a time to vow for a fresh start. However, part of the challenge for a better
2013 is to focus on the positive highlights of 2012, carrying that spirit
forward while simultaneously examining what didn’t occur as planned, and recognizing
and accepting what behaviors need to change to bring about different
outcomes.
Here lies the problem.
We each fall into our individual comfort zones. Whether our choices are resulting in positive
experiences or perhaps those experiences that we wish to keep in 2012, we
repeat the same behaviors because we have conditioned ourselves to stay within
the known….it is scary to venture into the unknown. Taking that leap of faith and jumping into
the unfamiliar abyss just seems too reckless for many and instead keeps us stuck
in repeating habits that caused the adversities we so want to have change in
2013.
While I was driving off the mountain in blizzard like
conditions yesterday, I watched people who tried to control the environment. They
were getting impatient with those who were accepting the circumstances. In an
effort to try to control the situation and continue to drive the way they would
have under normal road conditions, they were sliding dangerously across the
road. Those who surrendered to the
conditions gently guided their vehicles through the snow-impacted roads. They changed their driving habits given the
road conditions and had a far better chance of successfully coming off the
treacherous snowy mountain without harm.
While observing that situation, it occurred to me that life would be
less fearful and that we would have better outcomes if we could only allow
ourselves to let go of trying to control every aspect of our lives and instead
simply guide our lives, self-correcting occasionally as needed to stay on the
course for the desired life we want… gently allowing life to happen. And then there are those who chose not to
drive in the snow—they remained stuck on the mountain because their fear led to
inaction, the inability to live into change. The cold fact is that we do not
control weather, nor can we control every aspect of our lives. Often our behaviors revolve around trying to
control situations we cannot control or staying stuck in situations that should
be changed…causing those disparaging situations in our life we so want to
change. Life doesn’t have to be so
difficult and we don’t have to fear change if we can get beyond the need to
control others or taking drastic steps into the unknown and instead act more
like a trim tab by making small incremental shifts in our own behavior. In doing so, I bet we will have that amazing
2013 we each desire!
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