Change....
It is said that if you are not changing you have stopped living. Life is an evolution from which we begin at birth and end at death. Everything in between is change on a continuum. The world continues to evolve whether we choose to or not. I cringe every time I hear “I’m too old to learn that, the old way worked just fine; why do things have to change.”
Often our most difficult moments in life involve times where we stay stuck repeating behaviors that haven’t worked favorably yet we still continue to avoid change--change being that which actually represents fear of the unknown. As we enter a new year, I thought there is no better time than now to write about change. Many of us welcome the new year as a way to put the things about 2012 that didn’t go quite as well as we had hoped for behind us and clean the slate for better opportunities. It’s a time to vow for a fresh start. However, part of the challenge for a better 2013 is to focus on the positive highlights of 2012, carrying that spirit forward while simultaneously examining what didn’t occur as planned, and recognizing and accepting what behaviors need to change to bring about different outcomes.
Here lies the problem. We each fall into our individual comfort zones. Whether our choices are resulting in positive experiences or perhaps those experiences that we wish to keep in 2012, we repeat the same behaviors because we have conditioned ourselves to stay within the known….it is scary to venture into the unknown. Taking that leap of faith and jumping into the unfamiliar abyss just seems too reckless for many and instead keeps us stuck in repeating habits that caused the adversities we so want to have change in 2013.
While I was driving off the mountain in blizzard like conditions yesterday, I watched people who tried to control the environment. They were getting impatient with those who were accepting the circumstances. In an effort to try to control the situation and continue to drive the way they would have under normal road conditions, they were sliding dangerously across the road. Those who surrendered to the conditions gently guided their vehicles through the snow-impacted roads. They changed their driving habits given the road conditions and had a far better chance of successfully coming off the treacherous snowy mountain without harm. While observing that situation, it occurred to me that life would be less fearful and that we would have better outcomes if we could only allow ourselves to let go of trying to control every aspect of our lives and instead simply guide our lives, self-correcting occasionally as needed to stay on the course for the desired life we want… gently allowing life to happen. And then there are those who chose not to drive in the snow—they remained stuck on the mountain because their fear led to inaction, the inability to live into change. The cold fact is that we do not control weather, nor can we control every aspect of our lives. Often our behaviors revolve around trying to control situations we cannot control or staying stuck in situations that should be changed…causing those disparaging situations in our life we so want to change. Life doesn’t have to be so difficult and we don’t have to fear change if we can get beyond the need to control others or taking drastic steps into the unknown and instead act more like a trim tab by making small incremental shifts in our own behavior. In doing so, I bet we will have that amazing 2013 we each desire!
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